I wake up early and have my time with the Lord, a great start to any day in itself. Then I made some coffee, cleaned my bathroom, got dressed, and sat down to check my email. From there, I was able to go into "work" mode by answering freelance design emails, which is always gratifying to be able to talk in a professional lingo that I went to school for in an applicable, real-life situation. Now, I have a project I can work on for a couple hours, drink my coffee, and listen to Pandora as if I were in an office! Another great aspect of this is that my office can move anywhere, which usually results in any coffee shop within a 5 mile radius!

Yes, I'm happy doing what I do. It's important that I realize I am already doing my profession, instead of waiting for something BIG to happen. It's been very gradual, but I need to see that I've made it. I'm a professional graphic designer and illustrator. :) True, I start work at Outback this week, but my heart and therefore my gratification of what I do is in my projects. Outback will just be a job, that honestly I'm kind of excited to start and interact with more people! But it isn't going to be my life.

Off to get a refill of coffee! I hope everyone is having a great week so far.

Ell

It's just nice to let go and enjoy being where one is. Forgetting the past while simultaneously remembering who we are. It's like how Michelangelo chiseled away at the stone to reveal the beautiful figures he knew were hidden under the layers of rock. Thankfully I'm not the one manning the chisel. In fact my Sculptor taught Michelangelo everything he knows! :)

I guess as a rock it wouldn't be really fun to have rubble slowly chipped away from you in fact it probably hurts, but the end result is a beautiful sculpture that displays the Artist's work for everyone to admire. In fact, I'm sure the rock itself never imagined it could look that magnificent, but the Artist saw it's potential and spent hours and hours working with the rock and just chiseling away. Even the rock's imperfections and natural fault lines are worked into the overall result only to make it even more of a unique masterpiece.

Some rocks look down and see all the bits of themselves falling off to the ground and it thinks their world is literally crumbling around him/her, not stopping to think about how much lighter it already feels or to even look up into the confident eyes of the Sculptor. The process takes time though, but the end result is completely worth it and the handiwork the rock strongly displays only glorifies the Artist.

Chisel away Lord! :)

It's a no go...... yup, didn't make it. But it's REALLY okay!

Kelsey (my roomie) came with me for the whole process and can testify first hand to my definite chipper-ness afterwards. Especially when we stopped at Chick Fil A on the way home :) That'll perk anyone up!

As I mentioned in my previous post, I'm just glad I actually followed through and went! It's something I've thought about forever and now I can say I've done it! Bravo!

Ironically, that same day I also got a call from Outback about whether or not I was still looking for a job! I got to go in the next day for a VERY thorough interview and left as a hired person! SO! I have a job!

I've got a lot of menus and drinks to memorize but I have two weeks to study until training begins. So, two weeks then I'm a working girl! I need to make the most of these two weeks. I need to wrap up the majority of my random projects I have going on because hopefully as soon as I start I'll be pretty busy!

A week after training though, I'm actually flying back to Tennessee for my Dad's retirement party. I'm really glad I get to make it back for it. It's a big deal to him, PLUS I get to see my boyfriend for at least half of Valentine's Day before I fly back to FL :)

Well, I'm going to hop off my computer now and start on some projects. Till next time!

I'll just dive right in and say that the past week has not been an easy one for me. Just been a lot of questioning and doubting about what my purpose is here in Florida. Each day I've been trying to stay productive looking for jobs and emailing contacts about illustrating and publishing deals.

I got to meet a local illustrator who sat down with me over lunch and discussed the logistics of being a professional illustrator. It was all very informative and he gave me great constructive criticism, but in the end I felt very discouraged, because the main point I took from it all was that I can't move forward anymore with my illustrations unless I have money. Money to make prints which can go on display in galleries, money to join guilds and memberships that would get my name out to authors and publishers, basically money to do anything.

I was pretty much depressed for the rest of the day and hated that I was depressed, which made me feel even more depressed! (vicious cycle) However, after a good cry to my supportive boyfriend, an unexpected call from a best friend that knows what it is like to be in my exact same position, and numerous emails from friends back home have given me encouragement and a bit of a reality check. Most importantly, it is amazing what the wonders of solid time with God can do. Reading Hebrews and James the past couple days has been the perfect blend of conviction and encouragement. Thank you Lord for your truth and kingdom that cannot be shaken.

During this quiet time, I was replaying my original motives for coming out to Florida: Help Jeremy and Kelsey with their production company, yes, finally live in a bedroom again, yes, become a Disney Princess, yes but that was just a silly dream.... right?

Well guess what I'm doing today? Auditioning to be Disney Princess.... haha! I know I just put a lot of build up and pressure on this "dream" and that most of you reading this are probably concerned that if I don't get it my little dreaming heart will be crushed once again. But I really don't think that's going to be the case. More than anything I'm already super proud that I'm actually going! I will be able to answer people when I come home, "Yes, I did try the Disney route but it just wasn't meant to be! But at least I tried!" This way there will be no questions or What Ifs. I'm feeling good about the whole thing! :) Win OR Lose.

Now! With all that said, I am going to look up some videos on how to dance like a Disney Princess, if you'll excuse me! :)

Fortunately my life hasn't been as uneventful as the activity on my blog... ha :)

So let's see...since November, I still wasn't able to get a job because no one wanted to hire somebody that was going to be gone 2 weeks of the Holiday Season (which actually turned into 3 weeks). Yes, after going home and thoroughly enjoying myself I decided to add on an extra week to my holiday! So I had nice long break and a good dose of visiting done with my friends and family. (Except for Amelia who took off to Oregon..) but everyone else I'm sure was sick of me!

Christmas was great and really really special this year. I'm going to say it was my first actual adult Christmas. This was the first year that there has been a new baby in the family, Little Emma :) It's only going to get better as she grows up too! Also, I had a special guest of my own come this year ;) which was a first for me and very fun to experience sharing Christmas with someone special. Not to mention Santa was very generous this year too! Thanks to Amazon's amazing wish list feature, Santa knew exactly what to get this picky giftee!

I think wish lists are a great idea... and not just for Christmas and birthdays either! It's good to have wishes and desires that you vocalize. When you tell people what you want, it becomes more real to you. Sort of how in high school when I had a crush on a guy I didn't like to tell anyone, not even my best friend (much to her chagrin) because then if I told someone it wasn't a nice little secret kept to myself but instead it begins a snowball effect of "ok, what is the next course of action for this, because this person I just told is going to want see progress" haha which is good for some people, but little Ellen was too nervous to ever tell a guy she liked him so she preferred her crushes kept to herself!

Anyway...back to wish lists.

It's great to know what you want and tell people. I've always wanted to work at Disney. Just about anyone who knows me well knows this, and because they know this they'll ask me about it, which encourages me to take action towards that dream so i'll actually have something to report back. SO! To all you concerned friends of mine out there... I actually applied to Walt Disney World today... haha yes, after YEARS of dreaming I've finally taken an actual step towards it. Cool huh!?

The probability of me getting hired is honestly very slim, but still I am proud that I've actually applied and we will see now how it goes! I applied for Costuming, which would be helping out with the wardrobe department and taking care of all those amazing costumes!!! We will see how it goes!

I'm tired of typing so I'll hopefully update again soon and not 2 months from now! Bye!

It is currently 12:50 AM.... I am sitting in Starbucks, listening to some easy jazz Christmas music, and watching the crazy Black Friday shoppers file in to get their charge of caffeine before the madness ensues.

I feel like I'm about to pass out myself, but I told my roomie, Kelsey, that I'd come keep her company during her overnight shift at Starbucks tonight. There's no way I'm staying up ALL night, but we'll see how far I get.

Thanksgiving was surprisingly very enjoyable this year. I say that because I wasn't expecting it to be, at all (no offense roommates) I just hate missing the tradition laden holidays away from my family, BUT This is was I did...

Kelsey and I woke up around 9:00 am and immediately tuned into the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade while I began to dish out some scrumptious.....scrumptious....wow....i can't remember the name of the classic breakfast dish I..... FRENCH TOAST.... I was saying french bread over and over in my head and I knew that wasn't right. SO yes, I began to dish out some scrumptious french toast while we sipped coffee in our pj's.

That soon transitioned into baking a pumpkin pie, prepping the turkey, and some Purina Dog Show. The last part didn't last long, so we turned on Swan Princess instead. The next few hours were all about cooking the food. Kelsey was surprisingly very knowledgeable about how to properly cook a turkey, which I was excited to learn! I made the potatoes, heated the green beans, set up our fabulous card table... TIME OUT.... perks of having a friend that works in the coffee shop you frequent: moments like these when she amazingly hands you a glorious chai tea egg nog iced latte (aka cheggnogg)....seriously, the best drink i've ever had here. TIME IN... set up card table, placed dishes on said table and shortly after enjoyed an amazing Thanksgiving dinner! I was seriously proud of the work Kelsey and I did! Jeremy was pleased too.

After that we went to our friend Brandon's mother-in-law's house for ANOTHER dinner which was also amazing, but unnecessary, but STILL fun to hang out and play cards together.

Now I'm here! Welcoming the Christmas season with open arms already with Christmas carols ringing in my ears! (Literally...this song is all ringing bells right now)

Lakeland is going pretty well so far. Not a lot happening yet, but I'm trying to stay busy with my own personal projects I've got going, that could be awesome in the long run. I'm also do a lot of research of film opportunities in the area. Like the Tampa/Orland film commission which posts a lot of job listings and film crew opportunities. So! If I see something that is applicable I will not hesitate to apply! However, I think my chance for grabbing seasonal job is dwindling. Especially since I'm going to be gone 2 of the busiest weeks of the Season since I'm coming home to Tennessee for Christmas! That's right! 17th-2nd I'll be home!!!!! I'm excited :)

I'm taking it as a sign that since I haven't been able to grab a serving/coffee shop job around here, that it's not what I'm supposed to do. If God wants me to just concentrate on my random side projects then that's what I'll do and maybe they'll pay off someday! Or not! :D

No worries folks, Disney is still on the docket! Once you apply for a job with Disney you can't re-apply for 6 months. So I'm going to wait till after Christmas and apply then! More about that later though. For now it's going to be all about the Holidays!

I'm all settled in and officially a Lakeland, Florida resident now!

I got back from my cruise on Friday the 12th. It was a good trip! I had never done a cruise before so I really excited to get to experience that. I've decided I like traveling by boat! Even though I was surrounded by an overload of touristy....crap.... it still felt neat to be participating in such an original form of travel. I liked seeing the open water, such a sense of adventure!

So now I've been in Lakeland for about 5 days now, and so far so good! Kelsey and Jeremy are great to live with. It feels like there was no lag in our friendship since I last saw them over a year ago!

Things are going really well, and I need to keep reminding myself that I haven't even been here a full week yet. I need to just enjoy relaxing and hanging out before things DO take off and I have a crazy schedule once more.

It has been amazing though to finally be able to sleep in as long as I need and actually have a door to a bedroom that I can close if I need some quiet. I sound like such a recluse! I really do like people! That's just how I recharge and refresh, which is exactly what I'm needing right now.

The hardest part right now is just missing everyone. This is two years in a row now that I haven't been around home during my favorite time of year. Fortunately I get to go home for Christmas, but it's the leading up to it that is so wonderful too. Lakeland has it's charms too though! There's actually an awesome downtown area that's really cute and fun to walk through! I can't wait for people to come visit!

Well my coffee is getting cool, time for a refill!