Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!

It is currently 12:50 AM.... I am sitting in Starbucks, listening to some easy jazz Christmas music, and watching the crazy Black Friday shoppers file in to get their charge of caffeine before the madness ensues.

I feel like I'm about to pass out myself, but I told my roomie, Kelsey, that I'd come keep her company during her overnight shift at Starbucks tonight. There's no way I'm staying up ALL night, but we'll see how far I get.

Thanksgiving was surprisingly very enjoyable this year. I say that because I wasn't expecting it to be, at all (no offense roommates) I just hate missing the tradition laden holidays away from my family, BUT This is was I did...

Kelsey and I woke up around 9:00 am and immediately tuned into the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade while I began to dish out some scrumptious.....scrumptious....wow....i can't remember the name of the classic breakfast dish I..... FRENCH TOAST.... I was saying french bread over and over in my head and I knew that wasn't right. SO yes, I began to dish out some scrumptious french toast while we sipped coffee in our pj's.

That soon transitioned into baking a pumpkin pie, prepping the turkey, and some Purina Dog Show. The last part didn't last long, so we turned on Swan Princess instead. The next few hours were all about cooking the food. Kelsey was surprisingly very knowledgeable about how to properly cook a turkey, which I was excited to learn! I made the potatoes, heated the green beans, set up our fabulous card table... TIME OUT.... perks of having a friend that works in the coffee shop you frequent: moments like these when she amazingly hands you a glorious chai tea egg nog iced latte (aka cheggnogg)....seriously, the best drink i've ever had here. TIME IN... set up card table, placed dishes on said table and shortly after enjoyed an amazing Thanksgiving dinner! I was seriously proud of the work Kelsey and I did! Jeremy was pleased too.

After that we went to our friend Brandon's mother-in-law's house for ANOTHER dinner which was also amazing, but unnecessary, but STILL fun to hang out and play cards together.
Now I'm here! Welcoming the Christmas season with open arms already with Christmas carols ringing in my ears! (Literally...this song is all ringing bells right now)

Lakeland is going pretty well so far. Not a lot happening yet, but I'm trying to stay busy with my own personal projects I've got going, that could be awesome in the long run. I'm also do a lot of research of film opportunities in the area. Like the Tampa/Orland film commission which posts a lot of job listings and film crew opportunities. So! If I see something that is applicable I will not hesitate to apply! However, I think my chance for grabbing seasonal job is dwindling. Especially since I'm going to be gone 2 of the busiest weeks of the Season since I'm coming home to Tennessee for Christmas! That's right! 17th-2nd I'll be home!!!!! I'm excited :)

I'm taking it as a sign that since I haven't been able to grab a serving/coffee shop job around here, that it's not what I'm supposed to do. If God wants me to just concentrate on my random side projects then that's what I'll do and maybe they'll pay off someday! Or not! :D

No worries folks, Disney is still on the docket! Once you apply for a job with Disney you can't re-apply for 6 months. So I'm going to wait till after Christmas and apply then! More about that later though. For now it's going to be all about the Holidays!

Time For a Refill!

Greetings from Florida!

I'm all settled in and officially a Lakeland, Florida resident now!

I got back from my cruise on Friday the 12th. It was a good trip! I had never done a cruise before so I really excited to get to experience that. I've decided I like traveling by boat! Even though I was surrounded by an overload of touristy....crap.... it still felt neat to be participating in such an original form of travel. I liked seeing the open water, such a sense of adventure!

So now I've been in Lakeland for about 5 days now, and so far so good! Kelsey and Jeremy are great to live with. It feels like there was no lag in our friendship since I last saw them over a year ago!

Things are going really well, and I need to keep reminding myself that I haven't even been here a full week yet. I need to just enjoy relaxing and hanging out before things DO take off and I have a crazy schedule once more.

It has been amazing though to finally be able to sleep in as long as I need and actually have a door to a bedroom that I can close if I need some quiet. I sound like such a recluse! I really do like people! That's just how I recharge and refresh, which is exactly what I'm needing right now.

The hardest part right now is just missing everyone. This is two years in a row now that I haven't been around home during my favorite time of year. Fortunately I get to go home for Christmas, but it's the leading up to it that is so wonderful too. Lakeland has it's charms too though! There's actually an awesome downtown area that's really cute and fun to walk through! I can't wait for people to come visit!

Well my coffee is getting cool, time for a refill!

busy busy dizzy :)

Holy macaroni.....it's time for an update.

1. It's November now
2. I have a boyfriend
3. I move to Florida in 2 days

I don't even know what to say right now. Things have been such a complete whirlwind this past month....

Fall in Tennessee is amazing. It's funny that this time last year I was pining over missing Autumn while I was in LA. Now that I'm here I'm trying to soak it all up before I leave again! Florida time is almost here!! I spent about 4 days at home last week going through all of my
belongings just sorting out what stays, goes, and is tossed. I've accumulated quite a bit of stuff! It's an exciting feeling though being all packed up and ready to go ANYWHERE. I'm ready for Florida. I'm really really excited about what I'll be getting into even though that isn't exactly clear yet. I just know I was made to create and that's what I'll be doing down there!

I also now have an amazing guy in my life that is totally supporting my move and encouraging me to pursue my dreams. It's all very exciting :)

So here's the game plan:
Wednesday: Drive to Sparta, spend the night/say goodbye to the parents
Thursday: Leave in the morning for Chattanooga, spend the day/night with brother & sis in law
Friday: Hit the road early in the morning for the rest of the drive to Lakeland, Florida!
Saturday: Unpack
Sunday: Drive to Fort Lauderdale, meet up with crew to volunteer on a cruise ship for a week! (FREE CRUISE!)

busy busy dizzy....but ALL amazing things brought together by our loving Lord. He's so good :)

Speaking Of....

It's OCTOBER..... oh my gosh...where has the time gone!? My mind has forgotten what it feels like to think and my body has forgotten what it feels like to sleep.... I feel fried... That may also be in part that I just got off work.

Speaking of work though, I turned in my 2 weeks notice this past Wednesday...I'm almost done at Provence! It's been a really great place for me these past few months but I'll be honest...I'm really looking forward to not having to open the store at 6 anymore. I feel like there could have been a whole lot wittier line inserted there just then...

Anyway...baby Emma is doing great...I can't wait to see her in a few weeks when I go home for a pre- Thanksgiving thanksgiving weekend with the fam since I won't be around for actual Thanksgiving. A Fall Weekend extraordinaire where I get to do all of our Kay Family Fall traditions in one weekend! Like chopping wood, watching football, eating green chili, carving pumpkins, pumpkin pie, apple cider, and of course....T-GIVING DINNER! It's gonna be good.

Speaking of good (lol) .... I have become awesome at guitar! hahaha (no sleep right now) ok I'm not awesome but I picked it up last week and haven't really been able to put it down. My left hand feels like I have plastic caps glued to the tops of my fingers which makes navigating my touchscreen phone even MORE difficult than it normally is. (BTW I just totally accidentally typed MEOW instead of MORE just then....I have NO clue how my fingers thought they were spelling "more" lol cracked myself up...)

You know what? I'm going to stop writing now. This isn't really making much sense! Time for a Sunday nap....or a cat nap MEOW! LOL

Comprehensive Fall and New Orlando

Here's something funny... I kind of forgot that this blog has a link on the Union website for all the film students to follow while I was out in LA. I'm sure it was informative for them while I was out there and actually posting about the various things I did there...but since then my blog has kind of been one long tangent about just random life stuff....aka my middle school journal posts! ha! mind you...there is STILL a link to my college website for all to see! lol...oh me....anyway at least my blog will be taking a turn BACK to film topics once I move to Florida.

Tomorrow it will be exactly 8 weeks till I move....that's 56 days.... wow.... I'm so excited and pumped about going, but I also want to make sure I use my time left here really well.

I think my family and I are going to have a comprehensive Fall celebration at home. Complete with a Thanksgiving dinner, wood chopping, football games, green chili, and maybe even some mistletoe shooting (that's technically a Christmas activity, but I just really love it)

Hopefully I'll get to come back home fairly often though. There's a smaller airline in Chattanooga that does direct flights to Orlando for like $30-$50 or even $10 if you catch it early enough! Cool huh!?

This weekend is, my little roommate, Ashley's wedding. I'm so happy for her. It's going to be so beautiful and unique. Like her! Then she moves to New Zealand and then another roommate, Kim, moves to New York on Tuesday...everyone is moving to literally "NEW" places.... I think I'll start saying New Orlando from now on just to fit in...

Animal-crack-tella, crafts, Little Mermaid

Anyone ever tried chocolate animal crackers dipped in nutella???? de. lic. ious.... try it.

Moving on....

Today was perfectly splendid (after I got off work of course) so... let me rephrase... my day from 3 o'clock on was perfectly splendid! I walk outside to the most perfect temperature degree outside has ever known! I drive home with the windows down (partly because my AC is broken, but why put a damper on my story?) I voluntarily CHOSE to drive home with the windows down, arrived at the house, greeted one of the roomies, then immediately set up camp on my back porch for arts and crafts time! I'm talking card board, scissors, modge podge, paper mache, and creative juices! I can't tell you right now what exactly I was making... it's a surprise, but I'll post a picture later!

My point is, is just felt good to make something crafty with my hands... doesn't happen as often as I would like... NOW I'm going to make some dinner and then the roomies and I are going BACK onto the porch where we're going to project "The Little Mermaid" onto our garage and watch it outside!!! So excited!

Baby Emma Kathryn Rager

I'M AN AUNT!!!! This is baby Emma Kathryn Rager :) she was born on August 25 around 10:30 and was 6lbs 5 oz and 20 inches long........ we're going to be best friends.

I'm in Jackson right now with my sister and the new baby. She's napping and the baby is in the nursery. I got to hold her though (obvi) and I surprisingly loved it! I'm normally terrified of babies but with baby Em it was just instant comfort and love.... :) so happy to have her in our family now! She's so precious!

Ellen in Florida

Well everyone... I have some exciting news. I am moving to Florida! That's right! Here's what happened....

A couple weeks ago...I received an email from a couple of my great friends Jeremy and Kelsey from LA. The email was titled "A Potentially Life Changing Email" and basically... it was. They basically said that no matter what they are moving from Las Vegas to Florida at the beginning of November and they would love for me to join them and really work on building the dream of running our own production company!

Jeremy writes, Kelsey produces, our friend Brandon who already lives there is a videographer, and I would do production and set design like I've been dying to do since I left LA. WELL.... I wanted to give this whole thing lots of thought and prayer just to make sure I wasn't going to rush into something just because it's available but rather because I'm really supposed to go.

So during the course of the next few weeks....Florida and Orlando just began appearing EVERYWHERE! At work, one of my co-worker's brother just moved there, another just got accepted to seminary school there, and another is going to flight school there....then about 10 other random connections and serendipitous encounters with Florida. So, I was basically thinking about it all the time and weighing the pros and cons.

This past Monday night I went to a worship service I've been regularly attending called Emanate in Franklin, TN.....it is just an awesome solid time to really connect with the Spirit and worship the Father.... so the whole time during worship Florida was just really in the forefront of my mind and so I felt like the idea was really being presented to God, and the whole time I just had no doubt in my mind that this was right and basically there is no option for me to not go. :)

Tuesday I started telling my close friends and family who were all very supportive and excited for me.....except my roommates. They said that ever since I mentioned it a couple weeks ago that they knew I would go! lol oh how well they know me :)

So yeah! I'm really excited to have a goal to shoot for now and especially because I know it's where I'm supposed to go. Jeremy, Kelsey, and Brandon are just so creative and amazing, it'll be great to be back in that creative environment where we'll push and encourage each other. It's really going to be great :)

This will be another transition from Ellen in LA to Ellen in Nashville and now to Ellen in Florida! Let the new chapter begin!

Best Birthday Ever

Time is flying by.... I just scanned through my icalendar and saw just how busy and full my schedule has been. It's all been awesome stuff too!

After my last week at Anthropologie I went to Pennsylvania with Andrea so I could spend the week all my sister-in-law's extended family! random huh?! but really so much fun :) Gotta love those Jacobson's!

A few days later....I have the best birthday of my life. LOL It almost sounds like I'm kidding but I'm not! Maybe I should say adult life, though, because my 7th birthday when I got a bike AND puppy surprise was pretty dang sweet. But of my adult life...this one takes the cake! HA! (get it?!)

It seriously was awesome. First off...it started with no expectations or plans for the day... so the night before, Allie, Jessica, Kim, Brandon, and I go out on the boat with our friend Ben in Hendersonville. I had never been on a boat at night and let me tell you....it was GORGEOUS! The moon was huge and reflecting off the water and all the stars were out too... I loved it. So we kicked off my birthday floating on the water and stayed out till about 3 am. I didn't get to bed till 4 but then had to wake up at 5 to go open up Provence. That kind of hurt a little, but then a guy I work with came in at 8 to cover the rest of the day for me since it was my special day! SO after I get off, I meet up with the lovely Ashley Hamilton for a scrumptious brunch and hang out time at Fiddlecakes. Next, it was back out to the lake for me to meet up with my boating crew again from the night before. We go out on the water for some hardcore tubing and sun soaking! Once back on land, we girls went out to eat Chick Fil A for lunch, have a Miley Cyrus shopping spree at Wal-Mart, and take a nap at the house (which would add up to only my 2nd hour of sleep so far). After we all awake it's time to get dolled up for dinner at the Marina including outside deck seating, swooping Christmas lights, and live music....which then turned into Allie joining said live music on stage where I received an AWESOME happy birthday duet! At this point my eyes were already filling up with pure watery happiness just over what a great day and amazing friends I have...thinking my day couldn't get any better.....but it did. We came home to the Buford, I walk in, the lights are off and I think Emily is just having a relaxing evening after she got off work, when I turn the corner to see candlelit cupcakes and all my friends shouting Happy Birthday!!!! There were decorations hanging from the ceiling and walls and the cupcakes were of Princess Tiana! DISNEY! Emily gave me her present which was a case of bottled cream sodas, dark chocolate, AND FRIENDS season 8!!!!! THENNNNNN as if my love tank wasn't already overflowing, they all take me out for a late night showing of "Inception" which was AMAZING.............SO GOOD.

That was where I finished out my last hour of July 20, 2010. I can't get over how great it was. Thanks to my wonderful friends who really knew me well enough to make my day so awesome :) :) :) I'm so pumped about being 23 now. This year is seriously going to be great. I just know.

Beach, Quit, Moved

wow...it's already been a month since I last updated? insane. goodness I don't even know where to start then....

June 18-27 I was on vacation with the family in Orange Beach, Alabama! I had been looking forward to it for SO long. I loved it. We were in a condo right on the beach overlooking the ocean, so each of my mornings was spent on the balcony watching the sun rise. So good. Unfortunately, the big oil spill had just started to make it's way to that beach, so about halfway through the week a storm really stirred up the water and washed a lot of oil ashore. It was so sad to see. We still had a great time though and everyone enjoyed my board game I made "Kay Family Scene It!"

Being there only reaffirmed in my mind that I want to live on a beach somewhere for at least a short season in my life. We'll see how that works out ;)

After I got back, I resumed work at Provence and Anthropologie....and it really kind of hit me just how much I wasn't enjoying my Anthro job as much as I thought I did. That, plus I've had almost no time to work on any graphic design projects, and Erin wants me to illustrate her children's book that she is writing. So, I decided it was time to go. I'll still be working at Provence and hopefully get a few more hours there, but if I'm wanting my graphic design stuff to go anywhere I need to dedicate more time to it! Which is what I'll do!

Let's see... vacation, quit my job, oh yes, I moved! Yup, Emily and I moved in with Jessica, Allie, and Kim to the Buford house which is about 5 minutes from Provence and right next to downtown Nashville! Cool huh! I currently don't have a bedroom, so my bed is in the living room, but it somehow works! We've all been really having a lot of fun this past week and I think it is going to work out great for us. Plus I just love that I actually live in a house again, I haven't done that since I lived at home!

Things are going pretty dern good. I've really been learning a lot and still have a ton to go. But this time and place I'm at right now couldn't be more perfect :)

Not Scheduled, Indefinitely, Freelance

Good Morning.... so.... it is currently 6:37 am on Thursday morning. By this time I was planning on having Provence (the coffee shop) in the finishing stages of getting ready to open. WELL turns out that when I got here at 5:50.....I wasn't scheduled to open! Yup....so I'm just sitting here watching the sun get higher and trying to decide what I'm going to do for the rest of the day. It's actually kind of a nice surprise I just can't help but be a little sad I didn't sleep more. oh well!! ;)

So....an update for what's been going on!

Nashville has surprisingly started to grow on me, which is a good thing since it looks like I'm going to be here indefinitely. Indefinitely is actually a good word for me in general right now. Nothing is really for sure as far as planning my life goes. I am certain though that everything is going to come together in a much better way than I could ever design, so I'm not stressing!

Working at Provence and Anthropologie is going pretty good! or WELL, as my mother would say. I like Provence a lot (except when I show up when I'm not needed) and I'm just now starting to get the hang of thing at Anthro so yeah...I think I'm in for a good summer.

ALSO I've been able to do some freelance graphic design work for a few of my musician friends already and just got asked to do another "gig" for someone else now! I'm kind of excited about it. The stuff I've made for them has been getting good reviews so maybe my name will get passed around some!

Alrighty....I think I may go grab a bagel at Panera and then maybe do some shopping I feel like all my clothes are falling apart. ha! ok have a good day!!!

I'm weird.

I'm in a really weird mood right now. It's not even my normal weird. It's a whole lot more existentialist and grander weird. Let me try to explain....

I feel very full of life... and with that I am beginning to realize how precious life is. Ha....yes, this is going to be a weirdly deep post.

I'm turning 23 this year. This is the first time I've ever wished I could slam on the brakes of growing older and take a minute to reassess everything. 23 is still really young as an adult, but really old for a child. So in a sense I am just a baby adult. The world is totally new to me now in a different way. Instead of being guided in everything I do, I am now the one making my life choices. With that knowledge I know there a lot of potential with what I choose to do (or don't do). There is so much I want to see and do; I want to start DOING it all now and not wish I had 30 years from now. I just have no clue where to start....

I am basically just feeling really overwhelmed with life. God has blessed me with so much love and freedom I just want to be able to use who I am to the best of my potential. I made a awesome kid (haha).... now I just want to be a great adult.

4:50, Ouch, Beeeddddd.....

I am so tired. SO tired I am yawning as I write this....

I've been working QUITE a bit the past couple days. All of them starting with my alarm going off at 4:50 am. That was not a type....i repeat 4:50 am. Mainly that is to give me a 10 minute wake up buffer till 5:00 where I actually have to be out of bed, get ready, and be at work at 6:00. Getting out of bed is the hardest part, but once I get going it's really not that bad. I find playing some jazz helps me. Then working at Provence goes by kind of quickly I think. Which is nice. Today like Sunday was a double shift though. So it was 6-1 at Provence then 1-6 at Anthropologie. Ouch.

Yeah I'm super tired, but I think I'm really going to like working both places. They're a good mix for me. Artsy and Chill. Plus I'm feeling super productive. Whereas before, I just felt like I was wasting time in between my Anthro shifts.

Alright, well I'm going to beeeeedddddd....... . . .. .... . .

Free bread, 911, Jazz

Hello eventful life all of a sudden!

So yesterday morning (friday) was my first day at Provence! It went really well! I had a great trainer the whole day and time just really flew by! PLUS I found out that I get to take a ton of free "waste" food that are basically untouched leftovers that are still good AND I get to take home a complimentary loaf of fresh baked bread each time i work! (which I'm eating right now) AND I get a free drink each time I work too AAAAND a 40% discount if I ever find reason to buy something from there! Sweet deal if you ask me!

After I got off work I went shopping to find some more work clothes since there is a "uniform" there. That was all nice till I was heading home waiting at a stop light when this blue jeep comes whizzing by and slams into the car to my front left which then dominos into 3 other cars! I turned on my flashers, got out and started asking people if they were alright and then dialed 911. I had never dialed it before! The people were alright just a little banged up and the guy that hit them was actually drunk. So because I saw it all I had to stick around and talk to the police to give my witness statement.

Then this morning I get a text from my roommate, Ashely, saying she was in a car accident last night on her way to Memphis. Her car flipped several times but she miraculously didn't break any bones but was just a little bruised. I couldn't believe it! So scary all these close calls... We've got some angels working overtime here.

Today I worked at Anthropologie from 5 to close so it's now 11:39, I have to be at Provence tomorrow morning at 7 work till 1 then I work again at Anthro from 2-8.... let the crazy schedules begin! Alright...well I'm going to finish my sleepy time tea turn off the jazz music (which I'm TOTALLY into right now) and hit the sack. Goodnight!

$9.00, Thrift Store, Napping

I finally busted out of my apartment today... I couldn't take it any longer. I was actually getting all dolled up and ready to go to work for my "on call" shift, called to make sure they wanted me to come in....and they didn't. Instead I went to the bank and cashed in $9.00 worth of rolled coins I had stashed under my bed. I wouldn't even really call it an emergency fund since it was only $9.00 so I suppose stash or loot or bounty will have to do.

Well that trip took about 8 minutes...so I had to think fast of something else I could do to get me out of the apartment.... THRIFT STORE! I LOVE thrift stores and I remembered that I had mentioned finding some cute beach coverup equivalent to something they have at Anthropologie. Well I would say my trip was successful! A few quick and simple alterations and voila! Ok, I won't build it up too much because it may not turn out looking so good...we'll see.

Right now I'm back at the apartment, sitting on my deck, and waiting for my roommate to wake up from a nap so we can do something! .....oh me....i need a life...

Rain, Rain, Rain

So that last comment about the pouring rain was a bit of an understatement to say the least....

it rained...

and rained....

and finally....rained some more.

It's probably the most rain I've ever seen in my life....probably for Nashville too since there have been some major flooding going on as a result. I've never been around a flood before. I think for some reason in my mind Tennessee couldn't get flooded...not so true. My apartment, fortunately, is at a really great high spot, so we were in a pretty good spot. I've signed up with the local volunteer program, they said they're organizing what needs to be done right now and that they'll start sending teams out this evening. I'm free right now since my work called and said not to come in. Only the managers were working today.... I can't imagine that anyone would go out and shop though...

So! I'm here at my apartment all day! Can't go out...for 2 reasons... 1: My mom told me not to and 2: I still only have my 3 dollars in my account and if I go somewhere I'm sure to be tempted to buy a coffee or something... so I won't. I am SO going to make it till Thursday! :)

Strike Two, Home-run, Orange Beach

Strike 2....the grocery gift card turned out to just be a mass of coupons this company was promising to give me over the next year complete with a monthly membership fee.... no thanks....


HOME-RUN with the Provence job!! They want to hire me! After waiting for his call for about 2 weeks, the guy finally called me and left a voicemail that at first didn't sound very promising but then he said "So we think you would be a great fit for a position here at Provence!" HOORAY! I have a second job! This is of course very good news but then it also means crazy busy schedules to come....but then that also means some more much needed fund-age.

I've never been able to have a job that I could put money into savings with. This is new to me, but I'm really excited! I'm being careful with my money, however a recent purchase of work shoes set me back a bit SO as a test of my will to save... I shall not spend a penny until Thursday of this coming week.... ha...seriously though. I have groceries and a semi full tank of gas...I think I can make it. Honestly the only thing that threatens to be my downfall is grabbing a glorious cup of coffee at Panera....*sigh* I can do it though!

In other news... I found out this week that my family is going on vacation this summer! YAY! We used to always go to the beach every year but the past couple of years we haven't been able to, but nothing is stopping us this time! We're going to Orange Beach in Alabama!

With the beach in mind, working at Anthropologie is a constant struggle with all it's great vacation/summer/beach clothes around. However, I feel like an hour or so spent at a thrift store and a few alterations could produce some very similar and tremendously cheaper alternatives :)

Well I should probably head off to work.... 12-4 today. It's only 11:05 right now but it's been pouring rain all morning so I better give myself some time to get through traffic. Alrighty! Hope everyone is having a great day!

Wizard of Oz Weather

Well, I'd love to tell you if the other two hopefuls were strike outs or not...but I just don't know yet!

The Provence job has me baffled cause the guy said he'd let me know in a few days.....that was 4/14 ....I'd say it's been a few days. And as for the elusive grocery gift card.... I'm losing hope.
I've gotten two things in the mail from this place (i'm expecting three) ...both so far are just advertisements and gimmicks to get me to sign up for... 2 strikes for them, they've got one more chance to prove themselves by sending what they promised!

So I think Panera Bread Co. is my new office. Every time I come here I sit and work on my computer for hours. Even though I could do that at my apartment, I somehow feel more productive when I can just get out for a while. I was supposed to work today but they didn't need me... which is probably a good thing since the weather is supposed to get a little sassy here in a bit.... as in "tornadic activity" sassy. I'm not sure how I feel about tornados now. I'm still fascinated by them but hearing a tornado siren will probably always frighten me from
now on since my last bout with wizard of oz weather. (a.k.a....Feb 5, 2008 Union University)

Ha! Well on that cheery note...lol it's just funny because sometimes I DO forget that I was involved in that disaster. It seems so unreal and it just takes crazy weather days like this to remind me again! SO everyone be safe tonight! Heed the warnings and don't open up a new awesome puzzle to work on while you wait out the storm....because if a tornado does hit you most likely won't find those pieces again....trust me. And no...that's not a symbolic metaphor...

Strike One

Strike One....

I didn't get the ABC internship...

so...yeah that's a little bummer.... Of the three things I was hoping would happen this week, this was kind of the big one I was REALLY pushing for. But hey, it's definitely not the end of the world and I actually took it better than I thought I would. I had a nice little moment where as soon as I opened the email I quickly covered the paragraph with my hands, my heart was beating out of control, and even though I was super excited I told myself that if I didn't get it, that would be totally fine and I would just go another direction. SO... new direction it is! :)

We'll see how well I do on the next two pitches....Provence Job and $500.00 grocery gift card... I don't know... I might be striking out....

My friend Danielle applied for it as well and received the same news.... we decided we were over qualified haha. Actually we're both still keen on moving back out to LA and we're just going to use this summer to just work and save money for a hopeful Fall departure! :D

Ghost Buster, Gas Card, Calling


Currently, I am collapsed on my living room floor in front of our open porch doors 1.) because it is gorgeous out today and the cool breeze feels wonderful and 2.) because I am too exhausted to move after putting in 5 hours of intense cleaning at Anthro today.

I had to dusted and mopped and had to use a vacuum strapped to my back like a ghost buster! I'm tired and my hands feel like they lost a layer of skin to some intense pine fresh cleaner, but other than that I really didn't mind it much. Cleaning can be kind of a nice stress reliever! Not that I'm overly stressed right now or anything...

Three exciting news possibilities could happen this week. 1.) I could get hired at Provence (the coffee shop) 2.) I could get called back for the interview in LA and 3.) I might be getting a $500.00 grocery gift card and $80.00 gas card in the mail from this coupon website that appreciates my membership! I know! They really couldn't have randomly selected a more grateful member...to not pay for groceries and gas right now would be a huge blessing! However, I said "might" because I'll believe it when I see it. Don't want to get my hopes up too much.

This is sad to admit but this is the first time in my life that I've actually remotely supported myself financially. I'm being really careful with my money but if I'm hoping on putting any away for savings I'm going to really need that second job. I may get incredibly busy but that's alright for me right now. This time in Nashville is for me to just save and prepare for bigger/better things!

I can't stop thinking about L.A. I miss it so much. I don't even really know why. Even after I remind myself that not all of my old friends will be there and things will be different I'm still excited to just hopefully go back. A "calling" if you will... :)

Ellen in LA Sequel

Hello Everyone!!!

So....here's some potentially exciting news....

I have officially applied for the ABC Production Associates Program! It's this awesome internship that basically like an apprenticeship where I would be shadowing professionals in the television industry, working on TV sets, getting paid, AND it's all in LA!!!! That's right! Ellen could be going back to LA real soon! Ellen in LA sequel! ha!

The application period ends on the 16th and I should know a few days after that if I am called back for an interview in Burbank! Yeah, I'd have to FLY out there for an interview! Crazy huh!?
So perfect though and I'm really feeling God's presence in all this, but we shall definitely wait and see what happens! In the mean time, I'm in Nashville living with my close friends and working at Anthropologie to try and save some money. I'm also interviewing tomorrow for a job at Provence (this kick-a** coffee shop) -how do you know the **'s don't stand for L's??? So things are going pretty stinking well for me right now! I've been able to do some graphic design work on the side for my friends as well, which I love being able to do for them since I have so many amazingly talented friends! I feel good and I really believe I'm at a great spot in my life right now! Ok... enough cheesiness. I'll keep this updated with what happens with the internship! Say a little prayer if you think about it!

Entry # 10

March 6, 2001

Sorry I haven't talked to you not really sure who I'm directing this "you" to... in such a long time, well wait a second it's not my fault it's Bryan's because he's the one who isn't talking to me. Anyway, today I just so happen got a chance to look into Coach Fair's room and see him right, Ellen, right...just so happen to stalker-ishly stick my head in a full classroom and stare at the guy and to my surprise (actually not) Anonymous Girl was sitting by him talking to him. She may go to my church and act all sweet but at school I think she's a little bit too sweet with the boys, cause she's always's jumping from one boy to another. Well I better go. Woah Ellen...woah...I just bashed a girl from my own church because she was just talking to the boy. It's probably a good thing then that this is my last post about Bryan Simmons cause things sounded like they could've gotten ugly!

Yes, this is the last post. Strangely enough.... Bryan never asked me out. I can't really imagine why.... (sarcasm...just to clarify) We went to high school, he went the cool football route and I joined Band. LOL I honestly can't imagine a bigger dork than I was (am). But I am actually so happy that's the way everything happened. I love looking back now at my unfortunately awkward adolescence. That is what has made me into the person I am now. And even though I may think I'm above these quirky/embarrassing incidents now....I'm not....I'm not. My life if plagued with them, but I guess that keeps things interesting. Maybe I'll write another blog in 10 years about all the things that are happening to me now and have a good laugh again... Maybe.

Entry # 9

Jan. 31, 2001

I am sorry I haven't written in a while but nothing big has been happening, until today. Aiko and I were walking back from calligraphy class (there is somthing about me, that class, and Bryan) must've been where the gum wrapper incident happened and just right before I'm fixing to fixing to turn the corner he walks by in front of me a looks at me up and down, oh it was sooo exciting hahaha he was probably just waiting for me to get out of his way. also remember that I referred to this earlier as "something big" that happened... you're right, Ellen, I think our relationship really took off at this point. Then Aiko nuges nudges me and starts giggleing and I'm trying to play it cool cause I didn't want his friends to know that I like him. Gotta Go! I'm dying to know what my definition of "playing it cool" was... I don't see how that could've been possible for me...

Entry # 8

Jan. 18, 2001

Ok this is the CLOSEST I guess you could say I have ever gotten to him. Listen. Ok, I told Amelia & Aiko to save me a seat at the pep rally so they did in the sort of "popular section" "mod" so I was sitting there staring at Bryan a couple rows behind me a couple rows BEHIND ME!!! what the heck, Ellen!!! and then all of a sudden he got up, walked down the stairs, came over and sat down right next to me. Then some of his friends came up and tell him to scoot over (away from me) but he just scoots closer to me like butt to butt and let his friends pass by for a girl that rejoiced over getting hit with a gum wrapper and being called a loser, I would pay money to see my face at this point. And during the pep rally we talked a little and he asked me, if I liked his socks and I said, "oh yeah"stimulating conversation. And so that was sooo totally awesome said like a true middle schooler. Tonight was the dance which was a flop as usual this "as usual" implies past dance tragedies....*please reference below... I went a bit early to the game and I had more fun there then at the dance. I'm not going to anymore dances unless I have a date.

*In the spirit of revisiting Homecoming Dances.... here's a recap of my 6th grade Homecoming Dance. My very first Middle School "big kid" dance. I had been sitting in the bleachers most of the night in my denim/floral dress, dreaming of how great it would be if someone would come ask me to dance and staring a the cluster of "cool" kids dominating the middle of the gym floor. After a couple hours, I was saying goodbye to a group of my friends about to go wait outside for my dad to pick me up, when a girl runs up and says that this boy, Dallas, was wanting to ask me to dance but was too shy. I look at the clock on the wall knowing dad would be waiting, a new song suddenly starts playing, and I decide to take off running through the crowd to find Dallas and get my dance. Dallas had been an old crush from elementary school, so my time had finally come! My messenger friend, ran up with a new message that my dad was waiting for me. I was weighing the options... risk dad's anger? or get my first dance? Suddenly a crowd parts and I see Dallas across the gym. He smiles at me... I smile back. Mid-step towards his direction, my wrist is grabbed and I'm whipped around to see my father's angry face and a lecture in the middle of the dance about how long he had been waiting, my irresponsibility, and how I'm never supposed to go anywhere without a wrist watch anymore.... people were starring and I was mortified....and nope... I never got that dance.

Next time I see a middle school kid...I'm just going to give them a hug... Middle School is tough! Poor dad just forgot that night.

Entry # 7

Jan. 17, 2001

Today was the day we performed the Christmas Play for the 8th grade first off, why were we performing the Christmas play in January???. So, before we performed me and my friend I believe this might be my first reference to, my now best friend, Amelia! But more on that later... were roaming the halls and we walked past the computer room and I looked in there and saw him HIM.. read it with the most whimsical and romantic air possible cause that's probably how I wrote it and he was looking at me. Then when we walked by again and again and again, again, again... I looked at him and him and Matt C. were smiling and looking at me i'll give myself credit for always thinking positively, however I can probably guarantee they weren't commenting on how cute me and my stalker ways were. Next when we were fixing to haha "fixing to" start the play I was looking for him and I saw him sitting alone being absolutly adorable, but then he moves and was practicly sitting on Hannah H.'s lap! So that kind of deflated my balloon, and I forgot to tell you that last night he was sitting beside her at the ballgame which i of course noticed since I "couldn't take my eyes off him"! So I am beginning to wonder. Anyway tomorrow night is the homecoming dance and I bought a ticket so now what I need to know is if Bryan is going if he isn't then I will be so totally disapointed. I'm thinking about telling him I like him or telling Kyle P. I like Bryan and maybe he could help me. I don't Know!!! telling the most popular loud-mouth in the whole school your secret is never a good idea... almost as bad as Ariel going to Ursula for a pair of legs.

Oh dear.... if this were a movie, this would be the part where everything is going wrong, OH! Like "Pretty in Pink"!!! Except instead of the rich-ies and the poor kids, it's the normal-ies and the weird/obsessive-ies. I can see it now though.... there's some great 80's rock music playing, I'm sitting in my pink bedroom sketching out dress ideas for the Homecoming dance, a shot of my sketch shows a tear drop fall on the page, Duckie (played by Amelia) calls to cheer me up, but I don't answer.... SO epic...

Entry # 6

Jan. 16, 2001

My 3rd encounter with Bryan. Hannah B. and I were sitting at the top bleachers at the High when I said wouldn't that be neat if Bryan came and sat here on the top row. And then a couple minutes later him and his dad walked in and sat on the top row! On my knees thanking the Lord, I never took my eyes off him. Why am I always at the high school? And why is Hannah still my friend if i say things like "wouldn't it be neat if Bryan came and sat here on the top row"? So to get the visual here, I'm sitting in the bleachers, now "on my knees thanking the Lord", and simultaneously starring at the guy. I guess I'll never know who won the basketball game...

Also, it has been brought to my attention that there is some confusion with the dates. You see, I started writing all these "encounters" down after a couple of them had already happened. So actually, January 16 was when I wrote down the beginnings of "Operation Bryan Simmons" They were already engraved in my memory and therefore easy to scribe...

Entry # 5

Jan. 15, 2001

My 2nd encounter with Bryan. If Bryan were some sort of never-before studied, rare bird, I would probably be famous for my meticulous log detailing each encounter...alas...Bryan is not a bird. Poor boy. I was on my way to class walking behind him bad stalker habit then I got in front of him and I saw this little wodded up gum wrapper fly past me, so I turn around and he smiled and waved at me. ...You know, I will say... to any other girl this could've been taken as encouragement that he is....well.... interested as well and perhaps casual conversation could take place next time I saw him. But no no no, I had to continue my distanced/weirdo romance instead having any sort of attempt at normalcy. Stomache doing summer saults, couldn't hold still during class. I'm trying to remember what exactly this was like... was I just fidgeting? was I shaking convulsively? Or maybe I didn't "hold still" in class because I was too busy looking for that blessed gum wrapper in the hallway.... wouldn't doubt it.

Entry # 4

Good Morning! I'm glad to hear a couple of you are enjoying these posts! They are fun to write!

So as I said, the Ray Stewart chapter has closed. After the "wallet" incident, my journal took a monotonous turn covering most of my daily routine and lots of church youth group camps and festivals. 2000 was a great year for me. I made a close group of friends including my best friend, Aiko. 7th grade was rough because of my obvious (reference year book) lack of style, but at the same time it was great because I didn't care about how people saw me. However, as I sat in front of a young red-headed boy in Mrs. Anderson's English class, this view gradually started to change... Welcome to....EIGHTH GRADE....dun dun dunnnn

We pick up in my journals in 2001.

January 16, 2001
Dear Journal,

Soo, long time no see huh? Well I'm in 8th grade now and I'm 13. Well anyway, so now I like have this major crush on Bryan Simmons and only my best friends know. So now I'm keeping a log on whenever I have special little encounters with him just the fact that I said "special little encounters" creeps me out. So, here it goes.

Operation: Bryan Simmons
How long liked: about 2 years
Things seperateing: different mods & popularity

I literally wrote out a little header like this in my journal. Also, I'm not really sure what a "mod" is... I'm guessing I meant different social circles, which in my case, would also fall under "popularity"

(date unknown)

My first *big* encounter with Bryan was at the 2nd to last high school football game and me and my friend, Hannah B., went to talk with his group "mod" then he said, "Ellen Kay's a loser" then he said, "No, I'm just joking". On cloud 9! Moral of the story is....you just have to call me a loser and my heart is yours.... ALSO... on cloud 9?!?!

Again, I would like to post a formal apology to my crushee at this point, Bryan Simmons. He will most likely NEVER read this blog, which is probably for the best, because there is so much more to come....

Entry # 3

Romans 12:1

Sun. Aug. 22, 99
Dear Journal,

Today after church there was a picnic at the fire hall and John, Ray, and I were playing pool upstairs. Then this kid came up to Ray and said (is she your girlfriend?) and he was talking about me but Ray said (no) I have no actual memory of this. I was wanting to say of course he is but that wouldn't of been apropriate so I'm glad I didn't yeah good call of judgement there, Ellen. Tomorrow is the firt whole day of school and I'm glad. I'm ready for school to start up again it's amazing how differently I feel about school now. Well I better be gettin to bed because it's already 10:30 so goodnight at some point I wonder if I will ever add that elusive G to "gettin".

Alright, so this is about the extent of my deeply romantic relationship with Ray Stewart. The entries about Ray mysteriously end in the journal. Even though it wasn't written down, I do actually remember how this crush came to a halt. It was at a high school basketball game, John and Ray were in the pit band section. I came up to the stands (most likely from John's point of view) to interfere as much as I can in his teen life. I of course sneak over to pay a visit to Ray. Earlier that evening I had just found a little purse that I hadn't used in a long time, I brought it to the game with me probably as an attempt to look more mature. So back to the game, Ray sees my purse/wallet thing and says "Cool can I see it?" OF course I agree and as he flips through my pictures inside....he sees in plain view.....a pink heart covered note with his name scribbled all over it!!!!!!! He just looked up at me with a confused face, at least I think it was because the next few moments were a blur of me snatching the wallet, sprinting past the bleachers, and staying in the girls bathroom until the end of the game. Alas...my fondness for Ray could not withstand my mortification. As I shredded up that little note my crush was flushed down the toilet that night.....so dramatic. Happily now, after a few years, we are still good friends! Sorry again, Ray, you unfortunately were the first chapter. With the beginning of the new school year however....my heart took a new direction.... stay tuned.

Entry # 1 and # 2

Here is my first entry I once wrote into my little Winnie the Pooh journal. I think it should be noted right off that each post begins with "Dear Journal", a Bible verse, and of course the date. Very important.

Romans 5:8-9
Sat. may 29, 99
Dear Journal,

It's so much fun having a Journal because you can tell al of you're thoughts and what happened that day. Well today it start off pretty normal, I was laying down in my bed and I looked at my clock it was 9:25 usually I wake up at like 10:00 or so but right then I decided to go on a health and exercise diet. For breakfast I had a yogurt and some juice then a couple hourse later I got in the pool and layed on a mat for about 30 min. and got a tan. Next I got up and made a current and got some exersize. Then I had a P&J sandwhich for lunch. Next I went to Aunt Carol's house and played on a huge pile of sand then came home took a shower and here I am now. Yes, it was fun keeping a journal that I could divulge all my deepest secrets to...OR just write down a play by play of my day (very exciting). So obviously it is the beginning of Summer, and I am apparently pretty bored which is why I probably decided to start the journal. I WILL say, things do begin to pick up, which is why I am going to include a bonus ENTRY # 2 today!

1 John 1:8-9
Sun, May 30, 99
Dear Journal,

Last Monday I got a new Sunday outfit with hat and shoes, I got it because I'm growing out of all my other dresses. I always want to look my best on Sundays because that is the day I see my beloved one.WHAT THE!?!?! The guy I like is extreamly handsom and very nice but that's not the only reason I like him. I like him because he goes to church and is a christian. A beautiful and inspiring detailed description there of my apparent beloved one. You guessed it (!?!) the one and only Ray Stewart. Not to be confused with Hannah Montana's dad The only problem is that he's in the 10th grade and I'm in the 6th that's a four year age differance. But Momma said that it sounds like a big age differance now but when we get older it doesn't really matter. I wish I had written down more "Momma said"-isms. I just pray that if nothing is going to happen between us that he'll think of me as a really good friend and not some crazy litle girl who has a crush on him. This Saturday John brother, Erin sister, and I are leaving to go to Centurfuge, it's a youth camp. so I pray that we'll have a safe trip up there and that I won't get homesick. I also want to pray for Erin cause she's at girl state and the night she got there she called and told us that she was already homesick so I just lift her to you. Pretty sure I meant that part to God. Well I'm kinda getten sleepy so I better go. See-ya!

Dear Brett (Ray) Stewart...haha I am so sorry you were apparently "my beloved one" as a child. Please continue to be friends with John and don't shun the rest of us Kay's after this :) Tell your family I said hi!

Middle School Revisited

Alright...so here's the deal. As you may have already surmised from my previous blogs, I am in a transitional part of my life right now.

I have just finished my college career, I am packing up to move to Nashville, and once there will begin the wonderful task of job hunting.

However, I am still on the "packing for Nashville" part down here in Sparta, TN. It has been a bitter/sweet past few days as I've been digging through my childhood room looking for things to keep or throw away. In the midst of my archeological dig through sentimental memorabilia, I have come across a gold mine... my middle school journals.

I sat down with my cup of coffee in hand to casually flip through the pages and instantly got sucked in to the "epic" drama of my adolescent journey. With each entry I found humor with my young absurdity and a glimmer of clarity to how I have grown into the person I am today.

My journals are riddled with humor, self-doubt, hopeful romance, friendships, and as always my award-winning awkward moments where I still to this day cringe for my young self.

Basically, middle school me was a hopeless romantic and unfortunately hopelessly weird. I like to think I have changed quite a bit since those days which is why I can confidently share these private memoirs with the public. Hopefully you'll find the same humor as I do!

So, here are the rules.
1. I will transfer each entry to the blog identical to the original journal (spelling mistakes and all)
2. Because of rule #1 all names shall therefore remain unaltered (which could get interesting)
3. As writer, I do reserve the right to EDIT. Stories won't be changed but some info may be left out.
4. Many times there may be a need for clarification or commentary. In which case my comments and notes will appear like this! (Special guests may be invited in the future to comment as well)
5. Furthermore, I ALSO reserve the right to end this endeavor at any given point!

I believe that just about does it!

Welcome then, to my Middle School Journals. Believe me. I understand how awkward, weird, and ridiculous my young self will sound...but hey...let's be honest...what Middle Schooler wasn't!? .....don't answer that.

Senior Show, No School, Nashville

I love writing on this blog! Simply because I have no idea if anyone is reading it! Oh well! I shall continue to periodically update anyway!

So...these past couple weeks have been HUGE for me. The weekend before last I was frantically running around trying to get my senior show at Union completely set up before the gallery opened on Monday...well I set it up with the help of my wonderful sister and brother in law! After that I had to pump up my portfolio for my big oral critique with the professors. I was terribly nervous since I just don't really do well in front of a crowd especially talking about myself. WELL....it went GREAT! They loved my show and had nothing but great things to say about it and my portfolio! I was really really proud and happy!

My show stayed up all week and in the mean time I found out I got an A in my French II class that I was also taking over j-term. All this basically meant....I AM DONE with school forever...
I can't believe it. I'm finally done!! No homework!!! ah...such a good feeling :)

I just drove back to Sparta this afternoon, where I am going to re-pack and then head off to Nashville to live with my besties Ashley and Emily!!! The plan is to just get a job that I can save money with because I would love to eventually go back to L.A. MAYBE even by this summer!!

There are a lot of possibilities floating around right now but I like it like that! I am excited!

Productive, Miss America, Slide off the Road

Oh what a day! First off... it snowed about half a foot here in Jackson, TN yesterday! It was gorgeous, but quite the pain in the tooshie to drive around in, especially since I'm in the last stages of prep for my senior show. AHH!!!! There are so many check lists going through my head right now... SO, today I had to be productive.

I made coffee (a terribly vital detail if I plan on having productive day)
I then worked on my take home French final (translating 16 sentences)
I completed all my written essays and letters that are going in my portfolio
Erin, Neal, and I ventured out in the ice covered roads to hunt down some mannequins to use in my show. After an hour in the mall, we had success!
We took our bounty to school where they helped me start hanging up curtains and setting up my show! (not complete yet, but a great start!)
We trekked our way back home, and now I am about to eat some food, watch No Country for Old Men and then probably watch Miss America after that!

I don't think I'll feel bad about going out tonight since I've been so productive! Just hope I don't slide off the road!

Good Morning!

Good morning everyone!

I'm sitting in the coffee shop on campus here at Union University just hanging out till my French class at 10:00. Speaking of class, J-term as been going surprisingly a whole lot better than I had anticipated! I'm actually getting a grasp of French and completing my homework almost as soon as it's assigned (which I never do) I am the queen of procrastination...I must be losing my touch. Well this was a very quick update but I've got to get going! More updates to come!

Au revoir!